My daughter Jessalyn 6th Birthday is today, at the exact time of me writing this actually. I remember being extreme nervous and super proud to have a baby in our lives. Jen and I packed up what we needed and me being me I video taped the entire experience. In the car I’m doing this documentary style quick interview of her but talking to the camera as if I’m talking to Jessalyn. I can remember just about everything that happened that day in vivid detail which is in stark contrast to our wedding day where only pictures can help me recreated the blur of saying I Do. It’s funny how some things you remember like that other others you get vivid detail. I’ve talked to other people about this and they too have said that usually you don’t remember the ceremony of your wedding but you can remember the birth of your children. I recall spending hours with Jess in the hospital’s nursery focused on my newly born daughter and being so proud and recording and photographing the entire experience. It’s funny to think about it now since I can remember every detail of that morning even without the pictures. Once the dust settled and a few days passed I looked at how many photos I took and was amazed that I ended up with around 800 photos and a few hours / tapes of video. Even with all those pictures and videos no amount of technology can capture that feeling of being a new Dad.
Jessalyn’s my buddy, my lil best friend, when I’m feeling down she cheers me up and when shes is feeling down I do the same. On my desk at work sits this great Fathers Day gift that my wife made for me, it’s a framed collage of two pictures and some stars along with an outline of my hand and Jessalyns on top of one another. On it is a poem that reads:
Holding Daddy’s Hand
Walking down the winding path
I hold tight to Daddy’s hand
His firm but gentle grip makes me
Feel safe like nothing else can
I don’t know where we are going
But my Daddy knows the way
He leads us down the path that’s right
And will not let us stray
I hold on to his hand tightly
I know he won’t let me fall
For my Daddy is the biggest and the strongest of them all
I don’t ever have to worry
When I hold his hand in mine
Because I know he will protect
And love me for all time
Recently Jess has switches from holding my index finger to holding my hand when we walk together, at first I resisted the change but now it only feels right that we hold hands palm to palm. Every once in a while she’ll grab my finger almost like some muscle memory of years past has come back and when she does she’ll look up and me and we’ll both giggle.
I love you Jess, Happy 6th Birthday my big girl!